I have to admit it...I hate paints. There are not many things that drive me crazy, but this is one of them. Someone always leaves the table with paint on their hands, it gets on their clothes no matter how many paint shirts they wear, but you know what? They love it, so I take a deep breath and do hard things and put my type A personality someplace else for 20 minutes. The only time I like paints is when we paint outside and then I can take a water hose to everything including the children:)
Silas and Titus went with Carl to drop his parents off at the airport this morning. On the way back he stopped at a meat market with the boys. (Now if you know my boys, you will know that they LOVE meat) When they walked into the shop, Carl said their eyes were as big as pancakes. I mean there was meat everywhere and when you are 3 ft high and your nose is at the level where you see everything. My, Oh My! They walked into the house beaming from ear to ear with excitement as they held their jerky sticks. I asked them if they had a good time and both boys yelled, "Yes," and danced down the hallway still eating their jerky stick. I think Daddy had a very successful first date with the boys.
Yesterday I had written a long post on how I had to admit to myself that Jack is colicky, but I didn't post it.
Well, this afternoon he had an appointment and the Dr thinks he has acid reflux. Thus would explain how he hit 3 weeks of life and started to cry, cry and cry some more. He had most of the symptoms, but I thought he had to be throwing up to have acid reflux, but that is not the case. He is truly happy only when I carry him. (Even now, I set him down to start this blog post and it only took him about 4 minutes to wake up and be fussy. He is laying on my lap as I type this. We will see how far I get before I have to sign off. One handed typing is slow.) We started some meds tonight and should see in about a week if they are working.
Carl and I joke that he knows when we come in a 3 ft radius of a chair. He will be calm and sleeping while we are standing and rocking him, but as soon as we even think about sitting, Jack wakes up and screams. Oh and another thing is that Jack does not have baby toots but man farts! My goodness he can stink out a room. He does a great job competing with Silas and Titus.
Titus wanted to make sure that I washed all the kids' towels tonight.
He took about a gallon of water out of the bathtub and dumped it on the floor. (Now mind you, I was in the office turning on the Olympics for the three younger ones to watch while I washed Grace and Lydia's hair.) He was having too much fun with the water to hear me calling him. I actually caught him jumping in it like it was a rain puddle.
At this point, I had to ask Grace and Lydia why they didn't say anything. They gave me blank looks and shrugged their shoulders.
boys...boys...boys...what will they think of next. (Poor Titus, I think Silas was involved too but he was coming out of the bathroom as I walked in...so he looked innocent this time:)
I just walked into their bedroom. Three children are supposed to be taking a rest but instead they climb up into Lydia's bed and took her valentine candy stash and ate everything. Well, almost everything. If they didn't like it, they just spit it out on the floor. Oh my - this did not go over well with this momma.
What to do with the triplets?
Carl just walked into their room and they were all out of bed again...ahhhh...they wear me out!
You see - they all don't need a nap every day but I need them to rest everyday so that I get a break.
I have to remind myself that someday they will be bigger and beg to take a nap. I planned some of my college semesters so that I could take a nap. I love to nap and feel so much better if I can close my eyes for even just 20 minutes each day. That doesn't happen much any more, but when I can get it, I take it.
Jack started out the night rough because he kept setting his monitors off and they are LOUD! (so the nurses down the hall can hear it with the door closed). His stats kept dropping down to 88 -89% and thus set the alarms off since he needs to stay above 90%. By the time I would stand up and check on him, he would bring himself back up to 91%. We must have played this game about 40-50 times between 10pm -12:30 am. I was getting weary. I knew they wanted to put him back on oxygen and that meant we would have to start over on the 24 hour w/o to get out of here. I fell asleep only to wake up an hour later to a very hungry boy and his oxygen monitor off. My mind was completely confused - I slept for an hour without hearing the monitor and it was shut off. I nursed my baby and the nurse came in to tell me that the doctor had ordered him to be periodically checked with oxygen not continuously. Hallelujah! No more dipping below the line to set the alarms off. We had a pretty good rest of the night and here I sit to wait for the rounding doctor. Yesterday he only came at 12:45 pm, it might be a long morning.
I have spent enough time in this hospital to know that their chairs in the patient rooms and NICU are horrible and not friendly to breast feeding women. In the NICU, they are glorified lawn chairs and here in Pediatrics they at least rock but the sides are wooden and it doesn't recline at all. I don't even think these chairs would be comfortable to console an older child.
I have taken my Sam's Club recliner for granted for way too long. I usually think falling asleep in my chair at home is very uncomfortable, but compared to here that chair is AMAZING! I am not going to complain about falling asleep in my chair again.
Jack Update: He is off oxygen, but his numbers are still setting off the alarms every once in a while. I am trying everything I can to keep the oxygen off so we can go home tomorrow. We really need to get home and help the daddy out. I feel so completely torn being here and knowing that I have 5 kids and a husband at home who need me too. I can't really leave Jack for any length of time because this is not the same care as in NICU. He has his own room, but the nurses are all running around and they just listen for when he cries. I am never that far away from my little guy and I want to make sure he has the best care possible. So- with all that being said I sit here and wait for his little body to heal.
We are currently starting a book, "A Praying Life," by Paul Miller for our small group. Here is a small excerpt. "A praying life, isn't something you accomplish in a year. It is a journey of a lifetime. The same is true of learning how to love your spouse or a good friend. You never stop learning this side of heaven. There is far too much depth in people to be able to capture love easily. Likewise, there is far too much depth in God to capture prayer easily."
I am really enjoying this book thus far and I am excited to see how God uses it to teach me more about him.
I have to be honest I am a crisis prayer. I go from one big thing to the next; adoption, travel, our girls, Jack, jobs for Carl, our marriage. My main focus is whatever is most pressing on my heart. My best prayer times have been in the middle of night feedings with all my children. There is no distraction, I can't write my "to do" list in the dark, it is a time with Jesus and myself. (I do fall alseep half the time, but I really don't think he minds.) There was a song that we used to sing at a church we went to in Sioux Falls and part of the lyrics talked about sitting back against Jesus and feeling his heartbeat and how it is overwhelming. I often think of that feeling when I pray. I think of sitting on the floor around a table (like they would have done back then), eating and having sweet fellowship with my best friend.
It is a crazy thing to be back here in the hospital with my sick little boy. This is something that I didn't anticipate - I don't like how familiar I'm becoming with this hospital. Jack has RSV and is on oxygen. He will be here until he can keep his stats above 90% w/0 oxygen for 12-24 hours. It is mostly sitting and waiting.
It is not too often that a mom of six children has all this one on one with her youngest. Actually I was talking to Carl yesterday about how it still makes me do a double take when I say or write "mom of six children." It is almost as if I want to put my hand to my chest and say, "Is that really me?" I have to remind myself sometimes that I have 6 kids. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous that I have to remind myself. I count to 6 at least 50 times per day trying to keep track of everyone. But it is true, I honestly forget. It must be one of God's mercies to me.
Carl is an amazing husband taking care of our other 5 small children. He took them outside this afternoon to go zip-lining with the cousins. (This is no small task.) 210 feet of sheer fun for Silas, not so much for Titus and Adie, well, let's say she climb the ladder and that was enough for her. He fed the troops supper and now is in the chaos of bedtime routine. I am praying for him because it is hard work to do it alone. I will hopefully get an update later tonight from him.
Jack is sleeping soundly and I am praying that he is off oxygen tonight and that he is remarkably better in the morning.
I keep transferring a post-it-note from one week to the next of all the Thank you's that I still need to write. I had good intentions of doing them this weekend, but it didn't happen.
So- if I haven't sent YOU a personal thank you - I want to say thank you for all the meals, gifts and encouragement that I have received. I have so blessed to have an amazing community of people around me.
I have had a few people tell me that they don't think I am tired ...(at least I am not coming off as tired.) Well, here are a few pictures to prove that I am. We are both out cold and notice on the last picture that it is 10:59 pm. There is nothing better than snuggling my little man - I am going to miss this when he is bigger.
Grace LOVES loud, rocky music. The new Toby Mac CD just came out.
Idea: Have Grace work to earn the CD. (I think Daddy really wants the CD too, but couldn't justify buying it:)
Ground Rules: If I ask her to do something, it doesn't count. Before she does a job, she will negotiate a price per job. When she is all done earning $11, she can come in the office and buy her new Toby Mac CD
She has already asked to wash windows...(this is her favorite job by the way) too bad the triplets think clean windows means that they can lick them.
Adie periodically asks me this question. She is perceptive and usually asks me when I feel grumpy, down, sad, frustrated and wallowing in my own pity party. Last week I had to tell her that my heart was not happy and I was not allowing the joy of the Lord to be my strength. Why is it that I so quickly try to use my own strength to go about my day? I know that I can't do it alone, but my actions don't align with my head knowledge. I walk around tired and frustrated and that is not the way I want to live. Jesus needs to be the center...not my "I am really tired attitude"
I have to be honest, I have never wanted to spring to come as much as I want it to come now. I know that I live in a huge house compared to the world's standards, but I feel the walls are creeping in. When you play, school, eat and work all in same area day after day, it can feel small. I really wish I had a basement to send the kids down to play. Someday, Lord willing, that will be a possibility.
Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Not in the way that you all might think that I am.
Last week in the mail I received an anonymous gift in the mail from a sister in Christ. With that money I was able to purchase a Bosch mixer that I have been saving up for months and months. Every gift of cash went into this stash and every little bit that I could save here and there. That gift put me so close that Carl threw in the last little bit to make is possible for me.
I grew up with one of these mixers and was spoiled with the fact that you can mix 5 loaves of bread. You can also get the blender to go with it and food slicer too. This is a mixer that I have wanted since I left home. My mom has had hers for about 25 years and now is just needing to buy a replacement...thousands of loaves of bread later.
My Bosch mixer came in the mail today and I simply can't believe it. YEAH!
Thank you to who ever you are who made it possible for me to order it this week. It would have taken me a long time to reach my goal especially since my birthday is 7 months away.
I know that stuff does not satisfy and in the end my mixer will end up in the garbage someday. The only thing that does satisfy is Jesus. So, even in my joy of getting something that I really wanted, I want to keep my eyes fixed on the one who gives eternal life...that lasts forever!
Carl is gone this week working at a Pastor's Conference.
But we have a friend from college who has been staying with us and helping me out! It has been a huge blessing to have her around. Right now she is reading stories to Grace and Lydia...I should be mopping my floor, but I wanted to give a quick update.
I can't believe my little man is 4 weeks old. I would post picture updates but he has the baby acne and I just want his face to clear up. I am hoping by next week, he has smooth soft skin again. All my girls had this when they were about a month old...it is just how it goes.
Well, I should be off to make some progress on cleaning my home.
Never ending...Always repeating...it is a good thing that I strive on routine.