Friday, November 13, 2009

My dearest boys,

My Dearest Boys,

I have been writing this letter to you for weeks in my head. I am now sitting down to put it on paper, well, because now I have the time to pray over you and wait to see your beautiful faces.

This adoption journey was far more stretching than I ever thought it would be. Of course, I knew that being called to adoption is not an easy road, but it sure has a lot of ups and downs. God has been stretching me more and more every day.

When I felt the huge desire to adopt, the Lord hadn’t put it on your Dad’s heart yet. I honestly thought it would take years before we adopted. I knew with all my heart on January 30, 2008 that you were alive, but again, I thought you would be 10 or 12 when you came into our family. Little did I know that I was wrong. Only 7 months later, God ignited the passion into your Daddy and we officially started the journey.

At that point, we were stretched to adopt two. The thought of two kind of made my heart skip a little. That would mean 5 children 6 and under. Wow, that was going to be a huge responsibility. I knew we were crazy by the world’s standards, but when you are trusting God with your whole lives and living for Him, there is nothing crazy. It is passion living out the Gospel. “Crazy living” should be quite ordinary if all bible-believing people acted on what God told them to do.

We felt called to switch agencies mid-way through because they were less strict with a few details of adoption, such as birth order and pregnancy. We knew that God had you picked for our family long long ago. Nothing surprises him.

It was January 29th, 2009 and our paperwork is on its way to Ethiopia. We were told within 3-5 months we would have two little children home in our arms forever. Long months of waiting for our referral of you, but on May 18th we called in to find out that they had two little boys for us, one was 4 and one was 2. But we needed to wait until more paperwork came in for the official referral. No pictures, no information until all was ready.

During this week of waiting, I planned an adoption fundraising garage sale. You will have to look at the pictures of all that was provided for it. I was overwhelmed with the generosity of people who donated, helped set up and came. We raised over 2500 dollars in those two days.

The following morning, we were stretched again. I found out that I was pregnant with Jack. Needless to say, I was completely overwhelmed with the thought of a 6,5,4,3,2 and baby. But wait, on the following Tuesday we had the official referral for the both of you. One of you wasn’t four, but you were both two! Just like physical pregnancy, I was thankful all of this didn’t happen overnight.

I am so excited to have 3 boys be added to our family that some days I want to jump up and down.

The summer was a long and painful wait for your court dates. Finally in August we had a date of Oct 14th. So we waited some more while enjoying the few pictures that would come back from other adoptive parents who went there to pick up their children.

Days leading to your court dates were long and mentally draining. The anticipation of waiting was the most intense that I have ever experienced in all my life. We got the call that one passed court and one did not. What is a mom supposed to feel at this point? One child is hers forever and the other has more waiting. I had such joy and sorrow all in one breath and I could hardly breathe. I cried tears of joy and tears of loss. I was feeling the tension of that you both needed to pass in order for me to be able to travel to get you both.

God had bigger plans than what I was expecting. Silas you passed court 12 days later with a remarkable story that we fully don’t know all the details yet, but hope to soon.

We thought we were going to travel Oct. 31, but God wanted to teach me more patience.

Now here we are the eve of traveling – Friday, November 13th. We are packed and are ready to board a plane tomorrow to Ethiopia. My doctor extended my travel dates for an extra two weeks. Your Dad is rested and all projects are fully completed. Your sisters are with their Nana and Papa. And I am more than ready to come and get you.

In 48 hours, your world is going to completely change. I wonder if you will even remember these moments. Will you be scared? Excited? Will your heart be willing to trust us when you have never met us before?

Oh how we have prayed for you my dear little ones. So many people have prayed for you all over the world. You both are a joy and delight in our hearts – nothing will change that. You are apart of our family forever. I look forward to the day when you truly understand adoption and what God has done for all of us through his son Jesus.

May you know that you are loved and have been loved and will always be loved.

Forever your Mom


Ruth Ann said...

Angel, this post sent chills up my spine. I nearly cried as I read this. You will be so thankful that you wrote this, and so will your boys. I c.a.n.n.o.t. wait to see pictures and hear more of their story ~ it is amazingly beautiful. Thanks for setting an example and letting God write your story.

Blessings as you journey!

lisatony said...

God bless you!

Wife to the Rockstar said...

SO beautiful and precious!!!! I have tears!!!!

Laura said...

Angel and Carl, Thank you for sharing this journey! I've enjoyed reading bits and pieces of it. I will be praying for you as you travel to get your boys!

Sarah said...

Angel, I'm praying for you tonight, in preparation for tomorrow and the days ahead. And I just want to say that I would really, really like to meet you sometime.

Tengesdal 4 said...

This was absolutely beautiful! Praying for you, Carl, the boys and the girls as you begin a whole new chapter of life!