Thursday, October 15, 2009

Feelings and life goes on

I wanted to first of all say Thank you for all of your prayers, phone calls and encouragement. Yesterday was hard.
But today is better because God's mercies are new every morning. I am not saying that I haven't cried today, but I am saying that there is a peace within my tears.
When I talk about the boys, I naturally tear up because so many emotions come to the surface. Yesterday I was hit hard by the fact of all the loss that they have experienced in their short little lives. Having to wait a week to find out if they are both forever ours is a spit in the bucket comparatively. I just want to kiss them goodnight, snuggle with them and tell them that they are loved unconditionally and will be apart of our family forever! Who wouldn't want to do this for their child? And we waited so long for this court date that it was a big blow not to pass, but God is in control and so we trust and wait some more.

So here is what you can specifically be praying for the next 6 days.
- that his Dad shows up to court - best case scenario
- if this is not possible that the relative can have safe travels back and forth from the hometown- which I am told is 10 hours one way and that she can get the piece of paper needed from the police department.
-the judge would have mercy on our situation and pass our little boy through court
- no paperwork would be lost
-for BFAS (our agency) that they would endurance - there are a lot of families with court dates and details can be overwhelming.
-Lastly pray for our boys that God would unite their hearts with ours and that he would do a miraculous work in and through them.

And if I see you on the street or at church, be prepared that I will cry. I can't help it...tears flow very easily right now- which is God's way of making me weak, humble, honest, vulnerable and totally dependent on him. I won't be giving you the Christian answer of "good" or "fine" when you ask, "How are you doing?"

On a completely different note. I haven't posted anything lately on my youngest who will soon be ousted from her queen bee role around here.
I found her the other day with a the whole loaf of bread in her mouth. I laughed so hard and ran and got the camera. Her response... "I hunree." She wasn't pleased when I took the picture. She is notorious for swiping a piece of bread from the cupboard, but with homemade bread...there are no slices, so naturally she took the whole loaf. As for the coat and hat? I have no idea why she is wearing it...I don't question what she wears as long as she is dressed.


Michelle H. said...

Angel...thank you for your honest heart. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about your boys, I can't wait to hear that they are officially yours and that you can bring them home!!

As far as your little rascal goes...I am still right there with you...some days I wonder how I will survive him...other days I think I need to keep making a list of all the crazy things he does so that one day when his son acts this way I can remind him where he got it from!!!! :) Still praying for you guys....

Heather said...

Good to hear how you are honestly feeling and i am praising God with you for His new mercies for you each day - how much we desperately need them. Praying with you still - thanks for the specifics. I have been praying often that God would just hold your boys in an embrace they can feel deep inside them - even though you can't be speaking those loving words to them personally - that they would KNOW.

As for Addie - I think she is your comic relief right now - I seriously had to laugh at her expression and her reasoning and I know God is giving you eyes to see the humor too. : )

Love you friend!